These comments come from all of the feedback forms collected from trainings and have only been edited for grammatical clarity.

What people are saying about Pan Vera as a facilitator and trainer.

 

About 2 years ago I chose to participate in a teleconferencing workshop, "Compassionate Communication," over 8 weeks.  Pan Vera was the trainer.  Having attended a workshop that Emily Gould offered our community prior to that, I had learned that how we think and communicate with each other affects our relationships, our families, our communities, and it all begins with us.  In my life, I had had times where I thought I was not understood or heard, and felt frustrated at not being able to meet my emotional and daily needs.   I  wanted more of what I took away from Emily's workshop!  The weeks working with Pan, spent thinking and practicing, making a shift in how I communicate, has manifested into better relationships in my life, more meaningful, and helped me in places when others may have a very different agenda as well as style of communication than I.  I often wonder, if we cannot have respectful compassionate communication with those close to us, how can we expect this in the world?  I hope to join you Sunday, to hear Pan's thoughts.

Sincerely,

Bernadette Rose, friend of Barre UU 12/27/2013

 

I found this training (Language 4 Lovers) to be more helpful  than I ever expected.  I learned how to apply the principles of NVC and be able to recognize my feelings, identify my needs and make honest connected requests.  I was able to practice giving and receiving empathy. I feel that my time was totally well spent here today and I have new confidence in my ability to connect with my partner.

I found Pan to be an exceptional coach who was able to discern what I was trying to express and help me state it in “giraffe talk”.  I found him to be knowledgeable, supportive and kind.

He was able to mentor what connection is about.  Found him to be open and accepting. Felt very comfortable and accepted and “seen for whom I am” by the instructor. Thanks so much Pan for such a valuable day.

C.W.3/4/2007

I learned some skills I can use in communication more effectively which makes me feel appreciative, because they can help me meet my needs for connection and understanding.

Would you be willing to keep doing an awesome job?

12/04/2006

I observed that you were really wanting to help us with the issues and conflicts we are dealing with. Thank makes me feel like you really believe in this process of NVC, and that our understanding it is important to you.

My needs for consideration and understanding were being met. Could you please let us know when you are providing trainings by Pan?

Thanks so much for coming. I am challenged and hopeful about this material. Looking forward to sharing it.

12/04/2006

When Pan discussed the principle and purpose behind NVC, I felt energized because my need for connection was being meant.

What I have learned about NVC so far resonates with me. This communication techniques so far resonates with me.

This communication technique helps me connect with others and recognize our shared values. Thank You

12/04/2006

O: Opportunity to share our story.
F: Grateful, inspired.
N: Met My need for group to begin through process to NVC. Helped develop sense of community We realized the challenge that correct NVC can be.
R: Need to be added to email list. Thanks for offering this workshop and for coming out today to lead us through this process.

12/04/2006

I observed you checking your cell phone for the time several times I felt distressed. My need for contribution was not always met, Would you be willing to allow more time for discussion?

12/04/2006

When I gained a better understanding of NVC I felt encouraged because my need for harmony in current relationships has not be met.

Would you be willing to keep up the good work?

Thanks you again, I really enjoyed it.

12/04/2006

I observed that you employed multiple learning methods teaching NVC today. I was grateful because it helped meet my need of understanding/way of being.

I also observed the we were sitting down most of the time, I felt apathetic at times because my need for movement was not met. Would you be willing to incorporate some movement into your activities. Thank you for your time.

12/04/2006

-Very helpful-

The role plays were extremely helpful for real life. The empathy was life changing-I have always been a "Miss Fix it" and have known it wasn't effective. Now I have a new skill to help my loved ones that are hurting and anyone who needs empathy.

I loved watching [him] practice empathy with people in the group.

-T.B. 8/13/06

This training was extremely helpful in helping me understand at what level conflicts arise between people, that feeling are signs of our more basic needs, that the needs are life. Also, I have learned tools for communicating with my wife, children, and everyone.

I was very satisfied with the way Pan demonstrated the principles he was presenting. He seemed actually excited to engage in very difficult role-playing situations. He remained authentic, however reminding us of how many years he has been learning NVC, and that practice makes learning easier.

Honestly, I felt a little awkward with the process and vocabulary. Now after three days, I am much more comfortable. I feel relieved to know I can connect with my teenage daughter since I can own up to my feelings and communicate my needs.

-K.B. 8/13/06

I am very grateful and hopeful as I step into the world after this training. The most valuable aspect of Pan's training for me was witnessing him model the use of NVC with our group.

Pan did an excellent job responding to the questions and offering useful and meaningful insights into the use of NVC.

I felt both comfortable and connected throughout this training- Pan did a lovely job of creating and fostering an atmosphere of safety and growth. Thank you so much for offering the gift of this work to the world.

-K. 8/13/06

Training was a helpful intro into the practice of NVC. I feel inspired to continue deepening my awareness of NVC and to cultivate my practice skills and integrate NVC into my life.

Very comfortable and connected- one of Pan's best assets for me was his gentle loving presence and ability to create a safe space for learning.

-A. 8/13/06

Very helpful.

Interesting way of presenting. [He showed] helpful ways to remember things.

Went home very tired at the end of the first day. [I woke] up very energized, I learned a lot. Thank you for coming.

-C.R. 8/13/06

This seminar was extremely helpful to me because it helped reinforce the NVC base I already had, to a point that it was even more clear and came easier and faster in real-life use.

I am really impressed with how Pan can apply NVC to every area in life. It makes it more tangible and real and encourages my further use of NVC.

I was very comfortable. Pan’s demonstration and has an ease with NVC that really radiates to the rest of the group.

-A.T. 8/13/06

Very helpful in exploring the principles and giving good examples. He answered questions clearly, he gave examples. Very comfortable. He was very welcoming to each individual.

-C.M. 8/13/06

I took this class for my 16 year old son to be better able to communicate with him. I believe I now can!

I liked the experience of Jackal and Giraffe. He also did [role-playing] back and forth with me, which helped me personally.

I loved watching him play President Bush.

-R.D. 8/13/06

He is extremely knowledgeable about NVC, models NVC very beautifully, gives clear examples of the NVC steps. This training was helpful in using real life situations for illustrations in using NVC with the participants.

I was happy with the "workbook" materials, and I found the live presentation very excellent and helpful. I was very satisfied and I can keep to study more! He was pleasant, enthusiastic, and tuned into everyone, interacted with all of us.

I was comfortable, and I feel very connected with everyone present. The trainer contributed to this in nearly everything he said and did. He demonstrated warmth toward everyone in the group.

-G.B. 8/13/06

Pan used NVC whenever he communicated so I was able to hear it used in regular conversation. Pan responded to all concerns in NVC and I feel satisfied with that.

I feel comfortable because Pan lets us know we are heard by repeating what he heard.

-J.M. 6/24/06

Very helpful. Provides a great model that I will continue to practice in my life. Pan is very empathetic and does good modeling of the techniques.

Very connected- I was a bit anxious and uncomfortable that my example had to do with someone in the room.

-S.T. 6/24/06

Good ordering of materials to be covered. I liked starting with universal needs. Good use of humor too.

I felt very connected- to myself, the instructor, and others in the group.

-K.W. 6/24/06

I was very connected.

-G.H. 6/24/06

The examples were helpful. Pan was very good at communicating clearly so I could understand it. I was very satisfied.

Very good at communication skills. [Pan] did and excellent job of answering questions.

-J. 6/24/06

This training is extremely helpful. Pan is great at expressing, modeling, and troubleshooting NVC steps. Great job. Satisfied with vocabulary and role-playing. Very responsive.

[I feel] very connected. Pan opens himself to other's physical and verbal needs.

-L.R. 6/24/06

The training was very helpful. The information was presented in a way that I could understand it. I was satisfied with the safety contained in the group.

Very comfortable.

-L. 6/24/06

Very helpful in having an objective third party to give feedback and moderate the group.

Flexible approach tailored to individual needs within the group context.

Quite comfortable, but not enough to get truly vulnerable-which is, of course, a place where I really don't want to go anyway.

-M.B. 6/24/06

"This weekend has been and is enlightening, enriching and engaging. I am grateful to all of you for fulfilling my needs of safety, trust, respect and learning. I feel integrated, whole, empowered and connected to myself and all that is.

I am grateful to Pan for fulfilling my needs of safety, guidance and the learning and practice of NVC material.

I am anxious/worried/scared about my needs being met in the future. This worry draws me away from the present- my feelings, observations, sensations, needs and wishes in the present. What are your needs, jackal/ego self? I am ready to listen when you are ready to show me and tell me. Really, the jackal and the giraffe are one. They are not fighting, at war with one another, opposing each other. They are balancing, integrating, transforming, circulating, dancing flowing.....they are the same stream."

R.B 4-30-06

 

[Pan] knows the material, and gives examples and responded well to questions, through inquiry, more options, and kindness. He addressed participants by name, shared some personal material, and role-played with participants.

Helpful in getting in touch with my heart! Enjoyed the stages of intimacy!

Pan's ability to connect with my heart and to give me the freedom to feel and to discover my needs. Totally safe and secure- gave empathy-not judging. Shared self and had courage to be vulnerable.

-E.T. 4/30/06

The process he communicated through group interactions as well as lecture. The gift Pan brought was his unique ability to communicate joy when someone showed an understanding.

There were moments of intense discomfort. In some ways I feel my trainer allowed me to remain uncomfortable. I don't know that my needs were really clear to me. I need to work on identifying my own needs.

-M.I. 4/30/06

This training was very helpful to me in learning the basics of NVC and its applications. Breaking down the applications- relationships, social change, etc, and flushing each out worked well. The meditations added depth, trust, and peace. I enjoyed the stories of applications of NVC and the examples of how one can "speak the language". Even more would have been better. The specifics are very helpful.

I was satisfied with the presentation in general and in specific I appreciated all the handouts. Pan’s flexibility and vulnerability and his willingness to bring forward the full meaning and value of NVC (world changing) with serious lightness!

I felt quite comfortable and connected- Pan contributed to that by encouraging participation by all actively and compassionately, and also not letting anyone 'stories' dominate the group deftly.

-C.P. 4/30/06

This training was helpful for me- it offered me insight into how I communicate and ways of inviting my communication to become clearer and more connected. Pan/Pan contributed clarity, presence, and honesty and he was willing to be vulnerable- this allowed me to enter into the space of the above feelings/qualities.

I was satisfied with the mixture of "lecture" and experience/activities. I am especially satisfied with the handouts Pan/Pan gave me. He responded to my questions and concerns with grace and integrity- I am satisfied with that. Pan/Pan's presence and enthusiasm fulfilled my needs of trust and play.

I felt comfy and connected at this training. Pan/Pan listened to me empathetically and respected my needs and requests. He held a great container for the training- bringing the training safety, joy, spirit, and sacredness. I felt connected with Pan/Pan and felt his willingness to connect with me.

-P.R.B. 4/30/06

Extremely helpful. The "Stages of Relationship" in Jackal and Giraffe was new and useful. Also, I felt [Pan] demonstrate respect, love, and connection with each person attending.

Very satisfied. Lots of interactive teaching and practice opportunities. Humor, self-disclosure, flexible, checking in with students about present needs.

Very comfortable and connected. [Pan] contributed many things, but most significant was his willingness to LIVE the NVC process as well as he talked about it. Very fluid and powerful transitions between lesson plans and present moment teaching problems.

-C. 4/30/06

Very helpful. Pan's presence, vulnerability, heart, and knowledge of the NVC process helped me to understand at my own deep heart level so that I have a good beginning understanding. My needs were met for lots of practice.

My need for connection was met- a group of strangers became community. Pan's presence models connection. I leave feeling blessed and hopeful for the work I am engaged in.

-A.H. 4/3/0/06

Pan comes from the heart. He answers questions for people that could/might have been good for them to answer themselves.

Pan was good in being objective.

Not really comfortable with videos, thought forgot about it eventually. Otherwise good.

-J. 1/6/06

[Pan] was very helpful and clear. He went through the steps using good examples.

The discussions with neighbors made me feel related and understand better what [Pan] was trying to convey.

-R.M. 1/6/06

Excellent presentation skills! Very comfortable, role-play excellent.

-R.D. 1/6/06

Very helpful- examples used were specific for participants’ experiences. Very empathetic response to questions. [Pan] created a safe space.

Very comfortable. The initial remarks were made with such an open heart; [he] set the tone for the rest of the evening and allowed my heart to be open also.

-W.M. 1/6/06

It'll help me communicate with my father in the way that I can go beyond the past experiences.

I was very comfortable sharing what I have to say. I felt very safe as well. Thank you!

-K.H. 1/6/06

Really Helpful.

-I.O. 1/6/06

Wonderful! Very clear and understanding of what the needs of those attending are. I felt safe to explore without judgment.

-T.Z. 12/10/05

Very- tender, and gentle helping us connect to difficult places, feelings, and needs.

Pan-Pan was very gentle and caring with his presentation and responses. [He] helped us understand something very deep- maybe by following his intuition!

Very comfortable. He was open, sharing and brought a beautiful and thoughtful lunch and even the food prep and cleanup very much contributed to the sense of group participation.

-L.F. 12/10/05

Very helpful. Pan was very clear with explanations, examples, and modeling.

I was especially satisfied by the way he kept in contact with me individually while still in a group. I was also satisfied by the way he interacted with me and my partner during our "session"- and hit a home run on our situation, which resolved it.

He's very accessible personally, and seems to accurately intuit what's going on with others. Delightful leader.

-W.O. 12/10/05

The training is fabulous it allowed me to put some of my issues into perspective; I need more training and learning. Creating openness was helpful, talking to others, in front of others, connection, creating a foundation for connection.

Satisfied with the respect and love of the material presented. Pan offered feedback and understanding, translation of my confusion into connection.

Pan's love for the material and the truth behind it made me feel comfortable and connected; allowing me space made me feel good.

-G.G 12/10/05

Quite satisfied. Pan's verbal examples of NVC (modeling) were helpful. Hearing the other participants was very useful and reassuring.

I felt comfortable with the process/participants, context, and presentation. Guarded to expose anything significant. I was physically uncomfortable in ways that interfered with my attention to self and others.

-C.M. 12/10/05

This was very helpful in connecting with others and my mate and also in understanding the framework and foundations of NVC.

The materials were very clear. Pan has a strong understanding of NVC. Pan's introduction connection exercise was incredible.

This was fabulous. Thank you!

-K.R. 12/10/05

It was very helpful in that I had a very valuable insight. I felt validated, reaffirmed, reassured by hearing other people's experiences of relationship.

Pan is connected with contributing to people in my perception and it's really satisfying to me that he tries to address everyone's concerns. He told me to keep going with empathy! That was really great encouragement for me.

-J.S. 12/10/05

VERY Helpful. Brought to the forefront my needs as a man. Helped me to be both a better listener and more compassionate. Opened up my eyes to the possibility of a very happy and fulfilling life.

Answered all questions with compete thought and compassion. Very helpful in backtracking when people had questions on a particular matter.

Very comfortable. Used a special greeting for all participants so we could feel more comfortable with each other.

J.W. 11-20-04

I just wanted to say Thank you, again, for a wonderful day. It was the perfect workshop for us, and a wonderful insight into myself, our relationship, and NVC in general.

Thank you! You are a very effective group leader. Are you leading a group in December and January?

R.W. 11/21/04

I opened myself to the educational aspects of learning. The teacher was very good about bringing up the root cause. The method of being very calm and connected was as easy to learn.

A.W. 11/21/04

Quite helpful. Pan is an empathic listener. His enthusiasm and gentle spirit profoundly influenced the training.

Although there was an agenda for the workshop, Pan allowed the day to flow and drew us into being present in the moment.

Pan's eye contact established connection immediately and he created a sense of safety which made me quite comfortable.

L.P 6/26/04

It was very helpful. NVC particulars presented in a clear and concise manner

Very pleased - well organized/prepared. Compassionately caring - very responsive - moved with what was alive. Ice breaker helped deepen intimate connection sooner - Small group allowed for lots of on-on-one empathy.

A.P. 6/26/04

This was helpful in helping me get a greater understanding of my feelings. Pan helped with giving clarity to our issues. The environment felt safe.

J.R. 6/26/04

I appreciated especially the NVC work with us. Pan's modeling and contribution helped me learn much more about the process and that really met my need for learning and growth.

I also appreciated the warm email I received before the workshop answering my question.

I found the tantric opening very helpful to my feeling connected to the whole circle. I also enjoyed having lunch with you, Pan. (You might want to suggest to people to bring their lunches.)

M.P. 6/26/04

Excellent. The role play was excellent. So was having exercises with a partner. I felt quite connected. Not completely open, but more then I have been in a long time.

V.B. 5/22/04

I really thought the greeting ritual was effective for me at establishing an initial sense of common ground and connection with every other participant that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

C.D. 5/22/04

Pan is an excellent counselor and teacher. Starts on time, good insights, examples. [I was] quite connected.

Bettykay 5/22/04

Great empathy, facilitating role plays. At first didn't like processing and individuals' difficulties in the group, then saw the universal connection of her problem. Opening exercise Very good at developing trust and intimacy.

M.L. 5/22/04

Very helpful. Compassionate and loving.

B.H. 5/22/04

I recently went to a… Compassionate Communications group facilitated by Pan Vera. Being in a group of like minded people sharing our issues with each other was quite outstanding. I listened as each person talked about what they were working on. In the process it helped me to connect and relate as well as apply their insights to my own life. Pan is an excellent facilitator and has the ability to help people get to the core of their issues in a gentle and loving manner.

My heart was very open by the time it was my turn to share. With the help of the group I was able to focus on what things I need to draw into my life. I highly recommend this group… . This method of communication is able to help a person connect with those that they love. It also offers a community that can relate and support you in the challenges of life…

Priya Kendrick 04/7/2004

I was one of 9 people participating in the Compassionate Communication… Support Group on Sunday April 4th facilitated by Pan Vera. Receiving positive group attention and excellent feedback was of crucial importance to me that day.

I felt seen, heard and understood. Several members of the group gave marvelous validations and affirmations.

Several times during my 20 minute session, Pan pointedly asked other group members if they could relate to what I was saying. This was especially helpful to me.…

It was so wonderful to receive Pan's clear focused aware attention. He has clearly practiced perceiving the Divine in people. His gaze is steady and he radiates love and care.

He is able to think clearly about the emotionally laden material people are expressing, and uses the Compassionate Communication model to separate feelings, thoughts, behaviors and expectations. He then re-frames these four components back to the client in gentle affirming language with positive body language.

When I began my session I was very tense and I spent most of the session speaking passionately about my fear, anger and sadness surrounding a specific situation. When I was done I felt at peace and had a sense of inner radiance that stayed with me throughout the day.

I would recommend Pan's work to anyone who needs counseling or mediation.… His unconditional acceptance of and ability to receive others' feeling states is profoundly healing.

T.D.C. 4/7/2004

Trainer was very engaging, powerful sense of mission and commitment for the process, believes deeply and cares for others, compassionate, empathetic and leads by example. Very well spoken, clear and lucid. Pan created a safe place for sharing and growth. His sense of joy at doing the work comes across as genuine.

C.H. 3/6/2004

This training was very helpful; it was great to have the experience of being truly listened to by Pan. I shared a story in front of the group as he used empathic listening and it was a healing and relaxing experience. I felt a sigh of relief afterward.

J.D. 3/6/2004

Most powerful was the "empathy experience" - the joy I felt from his demonstration of empathy gave me hope and inspiration to learn more.

K.S. 3/6/2004

Very helpful introduction to the whole NVC process. Pan shares from his heart which helps me believe this is an authentic process. Pan models - shows us - what the process looks/feels like in all his presentations. Very friendly, warm environment created.

J.M. 3/6/2004

Pan was excellent. His entire being was present and you could tell that not only does he know the material but he lives and practices it. He stayed present with all of us and gave me inspiration to continue to live with myself and others with love and compassion. It was great. Full honesty and emotions were expressed. Thank you!

D.D. 3/6/2004

Pan was an excellent trainer. The warmth and kindness coming from Pan made the time spent together learning the process of NVC a wonderful experience. Very satisfied with the clear presentation. I felt comfortable and connected throughout the training.

B.H. 3/6/2004

Pan demonstrated a deep and profound ability to relate to and connect to fellow human beings. He has an extraordinary gift for deep listening, for a compassionate stand and to be grounded and centered even when confronted. He consistently demonstrated great coaching and leadership skills. I felt relaxed and comfortable as I thought Pan projected a calm grounded presence.

W.B. 1/3/2004

His genuine empathy and kindness of heart are a wonderful and much needed lesson for me. I thank him for his knowledge, care and especially for his very kind and loving treatment of my friend that attended the same training.

A.R. 1/3/2004

 

*Pan Vera is registered with the Center for Nonviolent Communications as a candidate for certification and has been certified as an NVC trainer by PSNCC.